Sad Diamond Executive

Sad Diamond Executive
Sad Diamond Executive

Sad Diamond Executive

$10,000.00
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Details

This poor bloke has it rough! Not only has Diamond Nexus made it hard to sell his diamonds by offering a better product for less money, it's now going to be almost impossible to compete with the return of eSteals! The weekly sale offers some of the hottest designs on the market at prices that are impossible to beat. Gone are the day when he cornered the market and he could charge whatever he wanted for jewelry. This obviously makes him very sad and longing for "the good old days." So, if you're looking to burn cash for no apparent reason, please support the sad man and purchase his diamonds!

  • 5'9", 215 pounds
  • Tendency to drink away problems, pretend they're not real
  • Good pals with Bernie Madoff
  • Thinks hurting the earth and people for shiny stones "ain't so bad if you really think about it!"
  • Likes to hold on to things to drive up their "value"
  • Has never heard, nor wants to hear the song 'Can't Buy Me Love'
  • Product Model: LIKES2RIPUOFF

What's in the box:

  • Jar of tears
  • Empty booze bottles (please don't recycle them, that will make him sad again)
  • Self-graded diamonds that he assures you are a great deal (please don't have them graded by a third party just in case, no returns, all sales are final.)
  • Tie that some kid (IRS considers them a 'dependent') gave him but isn't made of pure silk
  • Keys to his 2008 Mercedes that he doesn't remember where its parked
Reviews

Customer Reviews

CMH, 8/2/2013

change of fate

I think he needs a job at DNL - I mean after all, he has all the skills needed - Now he can REALLY put his best foot forward and provide a product that is so superior that he will have more customers than he ever dreamed possible. He will be able to get his kids through college without the need for student loans, he will be able to retire and travel and life will be bright and lovely again . . . Yeah - he needs a job at DNL - it is the only thing that makes sense.

Diamond Nexus responds: Haha!!! Exactly!
DinkumPhil (from Australia of course) aged 63, 8/1/2013

Excellent and poinient

CONGRATULATIONS to the copy writer.Just sooo well done

Jesus LOVES you and God has a Plan for your life Jer 29.199

Keep up the good work I have purchased an engagement and number of Jewellery pieces this past year!
Good products great value..
Thank You
( and NO little innocent children being exploited in a poor foreign land...............
Oh ! ONE more thing GOD BLESS America...
Soccer Mom, 8/1/2013

Sad Sad Exec

Thought I could make this guy work. I guess the booze was too much as I could just not make it work.
Crystal, 8/1/2013

Diamond in the Rough

In the beginning they always said he is a diamond in the rough and as hopeful as we are turn he out to be just fools gold with a glimmer of glass. The package sounds tempting but also sounds like many X-husbands us girl's have taken years to get rid of. Mine I could get a penny for. Good Luck!

Off to buy something I can depend on!

Sincerely,
Crystal Clear
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Shipping & Returns

Ship Rate

This is an Extended ship item. Your piece is produced to your specifications when you order it and will take 12 business days to create. Your choice of shipping method will determine when you receive your product.


Clearance items are returnable but are subject to a restocking fee of 25% of the purchase price, up to $75. They do not include a certificate from AIG and are not eligible for the Everything's Covered Plan.

Clearance items over $100 are eligible for free shipping via UPS 2nd Day Air. Upgrade to overnight shipping for $30.
Orders under $100 are shipped for just $10. Upgrade to 2nd Day Air for $20 or overnight shipping for $30.

Clearance items can only be exchanged for items of equal or greater value. For more details, please contact Customer Service.

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