This poor bloke has it rough! Not only has Diamond Nexus made it hard to sell his diamonds by offering a better product for less money, it's now going to be almost impossible to compete with the return of eSteals! The weekly sale offers some of the hottest designs on the market at prices that are impossible to beat. Gone are the day when he cornered the market and he could charge whatever he wanted for jewelry. This obviously makes him very sad and longing for "the good old days." So, if you're looking to burn cash for no apparent reason, please support the sad man and purchase his diamonds!
- 5'9", 215 pounds
- Tendency to drink away problems, pretend they're not real
- Good pals with Bernie Madoff
- Thinks hurting the earth and people for shiny stones "ain't so bad if you really think about it!"
- Likes to hold on to things to drive up their "value"
- Has never heard, nor wants to hear the song 'Can't Buy Me Love'
- Product Model: LIKES2RIPUOFF
What's in the box:
- Jar of tears
- Empty booze bottles (please don't recycle them, that will make him sad again)
- Self-graded diamonds that he assures you are a great deal (please don't have them graded by a third party just in case, no returns, all sales are final.)
- Tie that some kid (IRS considers them a 'dependent') gave him but isn't made of pure silk
- Keys to his 2008 Mercedes that he doesn't remember where its parked
change of fate
I think he needs a job at DNL - I mean after all, he has all the skills needed - Now he can REALLY put his best foot forward and provide a product that is so superior that he will have more customers than he ever dreamed possible. He will be able to get his kids through college without the need for student loans, he will be able to retire and travel and life will be bright and lovely again . . . Yeah - he needs a job at DNL - it is the only thing that makes sense.
Diamond Nexus responds: Haha!!! Exactly!
Excellent and poinient
CONGRATULATIONS to the copy writer.Just sooo well done
Jesus LOVES you and God has a Plan for your life Jer 29.199
Keep up the good work I have purchased an engagement and number of Jewellery pieces this past year!
Good products great value..
( and NO little innocent children being exploited in a poor foreign land...............
Oh ! ONE more thing GOD BLESS America...
Sad Sad Exec
- Thought I could make this guy work. I guess the booze was too much as I could just not make it work.
Diamond in the Rough
In the beginning they always said he is a diamond in the rough and as hopeful as we are turn he out to be just fools gold with a glimmer of glass. The package sounds tempting but also sounds like many X-husbands us girl's have taken years to get rid of. Mine I could get a penny for. Good Luck!
Off to buy something I can depend on!
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